After a year and a half in Guangzhou, it has finally sunk in that China is more than just a stopover in my life. When I first arrived, every day felt like a dream, like someone else was living my life here and I was just a spectator in the sidelines waiting for this particular scene to move on so that I can finally participate again. It look awhile for this feeling to pass. It was only when I finally made the conscious decision that I will stay in China that I began to feel that all this was actually happening to me.
The moment this realization dawned on me, I remembered laughing hysterically in disbelief, in acceptance, in pure joy! Who would have thought that I’d end up here? Yet, here I am!
“Yes! I’m in China! I’m actually living in China!”
And somehow, despite the difficulties of living away from my family and home country, I feel like I’m slowly carving myself a niche here. I am claiming a little corner of China’s 3 million or so square miles and because of that, I don’t feel so lonely anymore. In fact, I actually feel quite happy to be here.
So, whenever someone asks me if I see myself living here for awhile, the answer is undoubtedly yes. Despite the many things that can make living here difficult (e.g. censored internet, lack of food options), it has taught me how to simplify my life so that I focus more on the things that matter like the people I love and the goals I want to achieve. For that, I am very thankful.
If I were to define what China meant for me, I’d say that China is the dream that never even crossed my mind. Yet one day, it landed on my lap and as I began to understand it, I realize that it’s what I’ve wanted all along.
About My Look:
- Outerwear (Hoodie), slip dress, bag, and shoes, all from Zara. (Yes, I love Zara. I feel like their stuff were made with me in mind)
- Black, long sleeved top worn under the dress for extra warmth is from Promod
- Leggings and socks are from H&M