I have this thing about leisure writing – I rarely ever finish the things I start.
When I was in sixth grade, I was ambitious enough to think that I could write novels. So everyday, inspired by shelves stacked with Mills and Boon romances, I wrote my ideas in old notebooks. Chapter one was always the most exciting. I started every story burning with inspiration. Then, as chapters proceeded, the fire slowly waned, until I finally lost interest. Now, I am left with old notebooks filled with unfinished stories.
It was precisely with this experience in mind that I was a bit hesitant to start this blog. I thought, “This time, could I possibly keep this blog going? Or would this just be another of my unfinished projects?”
The past few weeks, it seemed like the latter was going to be true. After almost three months of regular writing, I suddenly felt uninspired, unappreciated, and unnecessary. I started questioning this blog’s purpose because in truth, there are many other similar blogs to mine and some of them, doing much, much better.
Then I remembered how every WordPress theme has its first entry titled as, “How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Blog.” Maybe that’s my problem. I worry too much, not only about my blog, but also about the many aspects of my life in general. Thomas already pointed it out. My boss at work also told me as much and perhaps now, I should finally acknowledge it and try my very best to stop worrying.
Worrying kills the joy out of things. It forms a looming grey cloud above everything I do. It’s not at all healthy.
Therefore, having said that, I am once again encouraged to continue writing. After all, I am no longer in sixth grade. For once in my life, I should finish what I started and do it well while I’m at it. No more flaking. No more second-guessing. For as long I enjoy writing, then I should.